Our little Li Li turned 15 on Monday 😳. I’m not really sure how our sweet little munchkin has turned into a young man. He is heading towards being a six footer, with a breaking voice and a developing moustache 😬

Life has been a roller coaster of a journey, from our initial realisation of his additional needs and the battles that ensued, to the euphoria of his acceptance into a secondary school which could fulfil his potential. All his milestones, learning to ride his bike, learning to swim, having confidence in trying new things and making new friends. His diagnosis of epilepsy and his burns accident a couple of years ago, didn’t set him back for very long. Thankfully the scars are healing and his medication has kept further episodes at bay.

The teenage stage of his life has come with its own unique challenges, him unsure what he should do with the raging hormones all teenagers feel, and us unsure how we can guide him through it. He can swing from the anger and anti parent attitudes all teenagers feel, to being our cuddly, giggly little Li Li again.

His school has highlighted an enjoyment of PE ( something we would never have thought ) and cooking. And having started his GCSE’s in September these are two of his subjects. We bought him his own set of kitchen knives and a visual cookery book for Christmas, but he has yet to engage fully with cooking at home. He also enjoys growing things in the garden. He often helps himself to my tools, seeds, compost and feed, which can be a little infuriating when I come to do some gardening myself. However wanting to encourage him, we bought him his own set of tools and carry bag for his birthday. When the weather improves we will buy some seeds etc for him and hopefully find his own section of the garden that he can nurture. Maybe he can even grow some vegetables that he can then pick and cook for his dinner.

Although school exhausts him, he is still happy (well mostly) to get up and ready for his transport every morning. Getting aboard the transport has also boosted his confidence and his school has advised that Mum should allow him a bit more freedom to go out and about 😬. Unfortunately he has no concept of money, nor how to use public transport on his own and Mum frets that if someone were to mock him (as insensitive people can) he would lash out and his strength would get him into trouble. He refuses to wear a lanyard as he doesn’t want to draw attention to his differences. He does walk to our corner shop occasionally, but he just hands his money over and lets the shop owner take what they need. Fortunately they are lovely people, and happy to help him, but not everyone in society is so nice. 😢

We understand that we can’t hold him “hostage” at home but it is a tougher call than letting most youngsters get out and about. There are courses to help him use public transport, which Mum will enrol him on during his final year at his current school. If he were to pass now, the council could withdraw his school transport, which would raise anxiety levels, so she has decided to hold off for the minute.

The next major milestone will be taking his GCSE’s and moving on to college. His school are allowed extended time to complete each exam and the kids are allowed an assistant to help them understand the questions. He is required to sit Maths and English, but he is also studying PE, Cooking, and Construction. Mainstream college may be a challenge for him, however there is a new college opening September 2024, specifically designed to assist teens with additional needs to take an apprenticeship and in conjunction with local employers find a transition into work. It sounds a perfect next step for him, but there may be a lot of competition for places 🤞🤞🤞.

Life since he moved to secondary school, has improved immensely both for him and the household. There are still times it feels like we have a child stuck inside a man’s body, and occasions where his anger and frustration gets the better of him and he lashes out, but on the whole he is growing into a kind, loving young man albeit with a teenage attitude 🤣

He has tried his hand, this year, at military cadets enjoying the marching activities, but struggled working alongside “mainstream” kids to manage other activities. Sadly it knocked his confidence and he stopped attending. It kind of reiterated that mainstream college will be incredibly challenging for him and that although he insists he will one day, work and live independently he will possibly always need assistance in life. That being said, his confidence and ambition to work and leave home, allows us a few years to teach him more life skills, like cooking, using public transport, money management and housekeeping.

Life for him will continue to have its challenges, but he has the support of us and his wider family to guide him through, together with the knowledge and skills his fabulous school have given him.

His future is looking so much brighter than we could have imagined. The war will never be won, but we have overcome so many battles and with a little guidance he will be able to overcome those yet to come.

🎈Happy 15th Birthday Li Li 🎈